A Week In My Life – Max Croton
My new Mum and Dad brought me to my new home a week ago. My proper name – my posh name - is Bigi Bere but Mum sometimes calls me “Pooh”, she says it’s because I’m a bear with no brain – that must be good. Dad says its because it’s all I do – I don’t understand what he means
They have given me a new name, I think it’s “Max”, but it might be “No Max” or possibly “Max No”, it’s difficult to tell but just to let them know I like my new name I always do everything at least twice….
I’m only little but I already have a routine. I have a lie-in every morning, I don’t get up until 5am. The best thing about getting up is the morning shout. I’m getting louder every day, which must be good because either Mum or Dad finally get up to play about 6am. As soon as I hear them coming down the stairs I do more presents for them. I make sure I hide my little presents well enough that Mum and Dad only find them when they step in them. Sometimes its ages before they find the last present – it’s a great game.
The best thing about getting up is breakfast. It’s lush: meat and biscuit and my favourite – goats milk. Mmmm, mmmmm. I take my time eating breakfast, I think it lasts nearly a minute. I like the noise the bowls make knocking into each other, I make great music. Then it’s my favourite thing – game time.
Out we go for the first game of chase. I don’t mind the weather but I think Mum prefers it when its raining. She has a special expanding stick that she waves around for me to eat. She shouts all the time: “business”, I have no idea what it means but she seems to enjoy it. Sometimes I give her a present which she seems to like, but most times I save the presents for when we go back inside.
One morning Mum took me to the forbidden place. Upstairs. Into a dark room that smelt a bit. I could see Dad’s head, but he’d lost his body! His head was on top of a very warm, comfortable blanket. It smelt nice, so nice I had to give it special attention. I gave it a very special present, but neither Mum nor Dad appreciated it – I’m sure my name is definitely “No Max”.
Then its time for my favourite thing: seeing my friend “Wabbit”: Wabbit is the same size as me but not as pretty. He doesn’t move much unless Dad picks him up, when he seems to fly through the air. Wabbit likes me to kill him. I kill Wabbit every morning and chew him up. But he’s fine by lunchtime. After Wabbit time I’m ready for my favourite thing: morning nap. Unlike bedtime I take my morning nap wherever I happen to be. I particularly like sleeping on my back with Wabbits neck nicely in my jaws. I have strange dreams, I think they’re about chasing Wabbit but who knows?
When I wake up I make sure I give Mum some nice presents. It’s very strange, but she wraps them up for me! I wonder if she gives them to Dad? Sometimes she throws them in a big white bowl that has a waterfall in it! One day I’m going to chase the waterfall and see where it goes….
Some days Dad takes me out in his moving house. It has cold seats and makes a lot of noise. It bounces up and down - I don’t think its one of my favourite things –yet. Perhaps one day I will come to like it. If I do I plan to give it a very special present, just to please Dad.
I might be little, but everyday I’m getting bigger. Yesterday I noticed I have something that Mum and Dad don’t. It goes from side to side very quickly. It moves so fast sometimes that it makes my whole bottom swing about. Today I caught it! It’s my favourite thing, and I chase it for ages. It makes Mum and Dad very proud because they smile and laugh and say “Mad Max” – maybe that is my name?
My most favourite thing is something else I’ve noticed on my body. Mum doesn’t like it very much when I investigate it. I heard her ask Dad “why do dogs do that?” Dad said: “because they can!” and laughed. I like my Dad! I think its time to give him an extra special present………